giving outside of myself

i learned about this 'giving' gift when i was about 12 yrs old. remember sally struthers who was on late night-early morning tv with the children in developing countries asking for help to feed them? i was a caller one night and i made my first pledge of support. i was in tears by the time i made that phone call to. must have been 2 am, me alone in the living room in panic that there were kids hungry. you can see the hunger in their eyes. i can't remember how much i pledged but i think my week's allowence. i lied too when they asked me if i was old enough to make this pledge. i thought it was an ok lie, not a trouble lie. so i went to my mom and she turned my money into a check to send to sally. that's how the giving all started. it started from my heart.

probably why i after managing a bank directly out of college i launched my career in non-profits working at pbs, weta tv/fm, girl scouts, diabetes research, envrinonmental organization; i contributed to making programs happen. but it was putting the paperwork aside that i really had a great time. as a big sister volunteer in dc to volunteering at assisted living in virginia to reading to children, that's where i see my direct impact.

amongst the busyness of life, i look forward to this activity. each week i volunteer for adult literacy in my community. i meet with my adult learner and she amazes me with her drive and eagerness to learn. i meet her tomorrow and can't wait to hear about her planting a tree in honor of her moving here. what a simple and symbolic gesture. i volunteer for selfish reasons. i have a hard time seeing people neglected of what they're so capable of. my learner rises to the occasion with such enthusiasm each time we meet. she gives me energy and hope. i'm selfish to know it makes me feel good. sometimes i think selfish is not so bad.